Journal for 08-31…The blues

5:44 AM

Psalm 30… I will exalt You, Lord, for You have lifted me up. The fact is, this world can get a person down, even the most faithful and avid follower of Christ. There are times, Lord, when I have the blues. Sometimes for no apparent reason, but sometimes because of the way I've been treated, or the way things are going, or how I've disappointed myself, or sometimes I'm just tired. While the reasons vary for the blues, You have often come along and lifted me up, encouraged me, renewed my hope, and reminded me of my purpose. Your love for me is too deep to understand.

You have not allowed my enemies to triumph over me. There is the devil, his minions, and certain people, too, who would love to do a little victory dance over my defeated life and/or ministry. I'm not one of those people who look for enemies, but I seem to attract them at times. If my sin is involved, please forgive me and fill me with Your Spirit -- help me make a mid-course correction. But even then, help me have the victory that comes only from You and don't allow my enemies, and Your enemies, to get a victory lap because of me.

(2) You are the healer of broken hearts, fractured relationships, and hurt feelings. You have healed me many times. And I suspect that as long as I'm in this fallen world I'll need healing again and again. I will trust You for the healing I need: be it emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual. You are Jehovah-Jireh. God my healer.

Be first today Lord. I am a thankful second. ~

Journal for 08/30…May Jesus Christ be Praised!

5:47 AM

Psalm 30

Lord, You have lifted me up, so I will gladly exalt You (1) Of course, You should be exalted no matter what happens to me, for You are the One and Only Sovereign God, Creator, and Redeemer. But when I have cried to You for help, You were there; You healed what was hurting (2) Praise to God that His anger, His rightful anger, lasts only for a moment (5), but His favor…His favor lasts a lifetime and beyond.

Father, You used this Psalm many years ago when I was going through a very dark and difficult time of my life. You said (5): "Weeping may spend the night, but there is joy in the morning." Yes, Lord, joy comes in the morning! This world is fallen and difficult; it is cursed and heartbreaking. But joy comes in serving You. There is a morning that I have to look forward to when all things are settled; the enemy is destroyed; and death and sorrow are no longer a part of our existence.

I pray today for my family, my friends, and my fellow-believers who may be experiencing hurt, illness, heartbreak and confusion. May they hold on…joy comes in the morning!

When morning guilds the skies, my heart awakening cries, "May Jesus Christ be praised". Alike at work or prayer, to Jesus I repair; May Jesus Christ be praised. Does sadness fill my mind? A solace here I find, May Jesus Christ be praised! Or fades my earthly bliss? My comfort still is this May Jesus Christ be praised!

Be praised today, Lord, in this world…through believers everywhere. You be first. I am second.~

Journal 08/29…Storm’s aftermath

5:34 AM

Psalm 29

Give the Lord the glory and strength. Give Him the glory that is due His Name. Worship the Lord in the splendor of His holiness (1,2) In His temple all cry Glory (9)

Father, I do not comprehend Your glory, Your splendor, Your holiness. I am unclean, as the prophet said, and am among unclean people. I am a part of a fallen and cursed earth. My sin, O the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin, not in part but the whole was nailed to the cross; and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! O my soul! I give You thanks for every good and perfect gift that I have. The truth is, the only good about me is You. And anything I have that is good comes from You: my salvation, my family, my ministry, my health, and my promise of the New Earth and Heaven to come….all from You!

So the day after Hurricane Irene rips through the eastern U.S. the verses I read say "the Lord sat enthroned at the flood." This is true of Noah's flood but of each and every flood and natural disaster we experience on earth. It also says, "the Lord gives His people strength; the Lord blesses His people with peace." So I pray for all "Your people" as they recover from the storm; and for all Your people that will be responders to the disaster; and for all Your people who may demonstrate Your peace in the midst of the trials and difficulties to those around them. Be glorified in a million ways, Lord, in the aftermath of the storm.

I am second.~

Journal 08/26…Level ground

5:48 AM

Psalm 26

(v12) My foot stands on level ground; I will praise the Lord in the assemblies.

I always liked that verse, Lord, because the way the world fluxuates and changes -- up one day and down the other, secure one day and threatening the next -- Your Word remains consistent and the foundation of Your truth and the gospel never moves. The only thing that I can count on for sure is You. Even those I love and depend on are victims of the world, and they, too, battle the ever-increasing onslaught on worldliness and change.

I will praise You when Your people assemble; I will be there among the congregation giving You thanksgiving and praise for what You've done and for Who You are.

Be first today. Help me to be second. ~

Journal 08/25…general thoughts

5:39 AM

Thanks for the rain yesterday, Lord. At least we are reminded of what rain is and that someday it will come again. Droughts and floods, earthquakes and tsunamis, volcanoes and blizzards…You are still God, still in charge, still the King, and will one day make the earth all new again. I have Your Word on it!

Psalm 85

(v4) Father, return to us -- this nation founded on Godly principles; the churches that are worldly and drifted from You -- God of our salvation, and abandon Your displeasure with us.

(v6) Will You not revive is again? Forgive our sins…forgive my sins… and heal, restore, reclaim what is rightfully Yours. We desperately need the "wind of God", the Spirit of the Lord, to sweep across our land and into our hearts.

What can I do to advance Your Kingdom? What, where, how, and when should I be able to make the best contribution to the cause of the Kingdom of my Redeemer? Isn't that what we should all be asking? How can I make the greatest impact in the days that are left? There are so many people that are offended by the ways of the devil, and so many believers that are easily drawn into a secular mindset. I know, for I am tempted every day to ignore Your Spirit and go with the flow of worldliness.

Fill me with Your Spirit. Forgive my sins and bent to sinning.

When morning gilds the skies, my heart awakening cries: may Jesus Christ be praised! Be first and have the preeminence. I am second.~

Journal…the gifts just keep on coming

5:45 AM

Someday, Lord, I'll wake up in Heaven. But today I am grateful to wake up right here. May this day be a day of serving You and abiding in You. You are a wonderful Father and Your love is rich and deep for me. You forgive sin -- even sent Your Son to pay for mine. Help me to abide in Christ today; may the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight.

The gift goes on. First it was the gift of eternal life and grace -- bought and paid for by You!

Then there is the gift of the Holy Spirit that lives in me (that can't be easy!) and helps me, prays for me, and teaches me. After that, the gift continues with my own gifts and abilities tailor made for me…not for my pleasure, and not for my benefit, but for the pleasure of You, my Redeemer, and the benefit of Your Church. Help me remember that the gifts You give me are not about ME, and not for ME, but for YOUR CHURCH. It is the common good (I Cor 12:7) and to serve one another (1 Peter 4:10).

I am second. ~

Journal 08/23…The Church

5:43 AM

Lord God, Heavenly Father… You are the beginning and end of all things. You thought it all up and made it happen. Forgive me for my sins. I am part and party to the cause of this world being cursed. I trust in Your Messiah, Jesus Christ, for my salvation and I thank You for Your gift of grace and eternal life. It is no merit of my own, but purely the merit of the risen Lord Jesus that I come into Your presence today.

Psalm 23

I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live (6). Lord, I know that this talking about the temple, Your house, in Jerusalem, but the implications are for Your church -- the Bride and Body of Christ. In the New Jerusalem You are the Temple because Your presence is there. I will live with You forever and meet You there. In that sense, Lord, I will dwell in Your house forever.

But right now, on earth, we have the Body of Christ, the church. I don't know why more believers don't have a higher regard for the church, for the fellowship we are supposed to love, and for the eternal and intrinsic nature of the church. Lord, help me to love Your church, Your people, and Your presence among us. You gave Yourself for the church and live in the world through her. Make us one, Lord. Make us one.

Be first today. I am second. ~

Journal 08/22…Thankfulness

5:37 AM First day of a new school year.

Father, thank You for so many things. In this fallen world all good things come down from You, the Father of lights, goodness, and grace. Thank You for my salvation, my family, my friends, my future, my ministry, and my health. You have been more than gracious and good to me. Thank You for Heaven -- the New Earth and New Heaven -- that awaits me…that I so don't deserve. Thank You for sending Your One and Only Son to give His life for me. What love is this?

Psalm 25

Lord, I turn my hope to You. You are my God and I trust in You. Please make known Your ways to me, Lord (4), teach me Your paths. Guide me in Your truth and teach me. You are the God that saved me, so I know You can guide my ways.

Do not remember my sins (7), for I have no merit of my own. I must come to You in the Name of Jesus Christ and pray based on His goodness. He alone is worthy to be praised and worshiped--the Lamb of God and Savior of sinners like me. But now I am Your child and pray to You, and depend on You, as a child should. In keeping with Your faithful love remember me; because of Your faithful love. Take away all my sins (18). Show me, Lord, your ways. I seek Your guidance and wisdom.

"O Lord, You're beautiful; Your face is all I seek; and when Your eyes are on this child Your grace abounds to me."

Be first today, Lord. I am second. ~

Journal for August 18th…a brief conversation about love

7:05 AM Sunny/hot

1 John 4

The amazing thing, Father, is how much You love me. Or course I love my wife and my children; and I love other believers (I have to admit that I love some less than others); but Your love is perfect, unconditional, and everlasting. The love I have for others is only possible through You and the Gift You have given me. Even then, I get in the way of perfect love and fail to love some people as fully as I should. Your love, however, was manifested while I was a sinner and offensive to You in every way.

Lord, You said: If we love one another, You remain in us and His love is perfected in us. (12)

"My love was revealed in this way: I sent My One and Only Son into the world so that you might live through Him. Darril, love, consists in this: not that you loved Me, but that I loved you and sent My Son to be the acceptable sacrifice for your sins."(9)

"I am love and if you remain in love you remain in Me…and I remain in you." (16)

Thank You, Father for Your Spirit of love and grace that is teaching me still about loving and forgiving; being loved and being forgiven.

"Be filled with My Spirit, son, and He will teach you to love unconditionally and without reserve…just like Me."

Thank You, Father, for the Gift of the Holy Spirit, and the life Jesus spent up on the cross for me. Please be first… I am second. ~

Journal for August 17th…Musings about the Spirit

7:04 AM

Father, most high and holy, praise to Your Name! You WILL receive the glory due unto You eventually. For Jesus will return and take me and other believers home where we will glorify You forever…gladly, joyfully, thankfully glorify You. Unbelievers will see their error in rejecting Your great salvation. As imperfect as my praise is today, and considering the imperfect source, please accept my effort to praise You.

The Holy Spirit, by any other Name, is still God. What a wonderful gift You have given me. He even helps my prayers. He intercedes for me when I attempt to pray in my imperfection. The fact is, I need all the help You will give me. Forgive my sins today and cleanse me so that Your temple is able to be filled with Your power and presence and wisdom and love.

Is it right to say that the Holy Spirit does the heavy lifting? I mean, other than the cross itself, the Spirit always seems to have a verb, an action word, connected to it. "The Spirit hovered over the face of the deep…" "The Spirit filled the prophet…" "The Spirit indwells…" "The Spirit intercedes…" "The Spirit speaks to the churches…" And on it goes.

In school we always asked who, what, when, where, why, how? Just trying to sort through this:

Who: the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. What: Redemption (Father). When: the sacrificial death of Jesus (Son). Where: Calvary (Son). Why: Love (Father, Son, HS, John 3:16). How: the virgin birth, Jesus being "led by the Spirit", the new birth (Spirit).

They are One and the same, yet distinct and personal.

Romans 8:26,27,28a Personalized as if the Lord is speaking to me: "My Spirit joins to help your weakness, because you do not know what to pray for as you should, Darril, but my Spirit Himself intercedes for you with unspoken groanings. And I, who searches your heart, knows the Spirit's mind-set, because He intercedes for you according to the will of God. And NOW you know that all things work together for good..."

All things working together for my good, Lord, is tied in with me praying in the Spirit!

Be first today. I am definitely second. ~

Journal for August 16th…God’s Essence and Glory

7:21 AM Sunny and hot.

Father, You reveal so much of Yourself to me, and yet You are a great mystery. I will never understand Your essence and glory while on this fallen earth. My mind is not capable of wrapping itself around all the wonder and splendor that is You. You are the Creator, the genius, and the power behind all that is. You've left it to us to discover how nature works, and I'm sure we've only just scratched the surface. I wonder, is the atom really the smallest thing, or is that all we can see? And we barely put men on the moon, never mind reaching any other part of the universe. (Of course, I believe that we'll explore the universe as a normal part of life on the New Earth and New Heaven.)

Lord Jesus, You bring the Father down to a level I can relate to. You not only walked among us and talked our language, ate our food, and died our death, but You loved us, too.

And then, Holy Spirit…You Who brought the earth into being, Who graced Mary with Your power, Who brings about the new birth, and indwells believers, are a manifestation of the Father and the Son to us.

That's about as far as my understanding will go, Father, about Your divine essence and personality. But I know this: You loved me so much that You gave Your Son to die for me, and then, by faith, as a gift to me, You placed Your Spirit in me. Now today, I confess my unworthiness and my sins, and ask that You forgive me for Jesus' sake, then fill me with Your Spirit.

I don't know much about the "Trinity", but I know what counts. You made me, You loved me, You died for me, You indwell me, and will one day dwell and reign on the New Earth with me. This I believe.

Today, Lord, be first…I am second.~

Journal for August 15th…Remembering

7:07 AM Going to be sunny and hot again today. Lord, is this Your way of making really appreciate rain? …a little humor there.

Philippians 1

Lord, this verse has been impressed upon me. 1:3 "I give thanks to my God for every remembrance of you." I have to tell You, Father, that I don't remember some saints with thanksgiving. In my heart I believe I have forgiven them, but that doesn't make my remembrance of them pleasant. This is one reason I look forward to Heaven. All of us can live together in Your presence with former things passed away; no more tears; no more pain; and all our remembrances will be pleasant and thankworthy.

I prefer verse 4 where it speaks of partnering with believers for the gospel. Now that's a plan. But Lord, with the best intentions even I get distracted from Kingdom priorities. I love my life, my family, my ministry, and all the blessings You give me, but I look forward to the New Earth. I will be able to serve You unimpeded by my "self", by sin, and my Satan.

They say that Heaven's pretty, but living here is, too; but if they said that I would have to choose between the two I'd go home…home where I belong.

School preparations begin this week for all the staff persons, then school officially starts next week. Put a strong hedge of protection around our staff and students, Lord. May Darin, Wendy, Mark, Mike, Jerry and myself and other believers make a real impact, real inroads in the lives of young people, for the Kingdom. ~

Journal for August 11…More than rain

8:48 AM Sunny & hot..need rain, Lord

Luke 1:38.."For nothing will be impossible with God." -Gabriel to Mary

The Composite Gospel says: "For no word from God is ever without power." How consistent and true You are, Lord. Father, I want to praise You today for Your greatness, power, and righteousness, but also for the kindness, goodness, and patience You demonstrate toward humanity. It's true, we have all gone astray, every last one of us. But Your Son came and declared You to us; lived among us; then died to be our just payment for sin. Truly amazing. You should receive praise for the genius and plan behind our salvation.

Lord, You know we need rain. The grass and trees and ground are dry, dying, and cracked. We can see everything turning yellow and dying a slow death before our eyes, and unless You do something it will be too late.

Likewise, our world is dying. The economies, governments, and peoples of the world are slowly dying because of sin, greed, and foolish policies. We need spiritual rain, Lord. We need a movement of Your Spirit upon Your people first, then upon anyone else that would listen and believe. Unless You do something it will be too late.

Thank You, Lord for saving my soul; thank You, Lord, for making me whole; thank You, Lord, for giving to me Your great salvation so rich and free.

With You, Lord, it's never too late for those who trust You…and I trust You. I'm going home one day and rejoice with loved ones and friends -- rejoice that we came through the ordeal of a fallen world. It is Your gift of grace to me. And I thank You. ~

Journal for August 10th…Fools and slander

8:26 AM

Proverbs 10

Father, Your words are always appropriate and they lead to wisdom. Thank You for putting in our hands the written Word of God; for sending Your Son, the living Word of God; and for providing Spirit-filled teachers that share the spoken Word of God. Your plans and Your ways are the path to life, joy and eternity. Show me Your ways.

I've always said, Lord, that love is something a person does, not so much what he/she feels. Hate is the same way. It's an action, something a person does. "Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses."v12 I want to cover the offenses of others -- once they've turned to You and confessed to You, we should move on. Some Christians prefer to expose sin and cause harm to others. Does it make them feel superior, Lord? Does it make them feel better about themselves? Yet, according to this Word, if conflicts ensue, then it is hatred, not love, that rules that person's heart -- no matter what their position, no matter what their past service has been.

"Whoever spreads slander is a fool."v18 Frankly, Lord, I know some fools. They can't wait for an opportunity to slander their brother or sister. And it doesn't matter if the facts are true, contrived, false, or misinterpreted. To speak to one or more people about another person -- true or not is slander, gossip, and sin, pure and simple. A wise person, according to You tries to cover offenses, forgive one another, and move on in service to Christ. It's a fool that tries to divide, harm, and slander another.

Here's my desire today, Lord (to start with)… Keep me from slandering others. I know what it's like to be the subject of slander, and don't wish that on anyone … not one single Christian. If I have ever painted my brother/sister in a bad light, please forgive me. I will let You take care of it from now on. And when I am the subject of slander, help me to forgive, put my trust in Your vindication, and keep my eyes on Jesus.

Lord, help me to keep Your commands and do the things that are pleasing in Your sight. ~

Journal for August 9th…Respect for the Lord

8:36 AM EST, 71 & mostly sunny in Waterbury, CT

Father, I adore You; lay my life before You; how I love You. Jesus I adore You; lay my life before You; how I love You; Spirit I adore You; lay my life before You; how I love You!

Proverbs 9:10...The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

It is the fear, or healthy respect and reverence for the Lord and Creator that is the source of wisdom. How foolish I would be to ignore You, Your power, Your sovereignty, and Your salvation. I do not want to live like the vast majority of humans that don't care what You think or how they will be accountable, eventually, to You.

Thank You for the work Christ Jesus completed for me on the cross; thank You for the gift of eternal life; thank You for drawing me unto Yourself…for actually desiring a relationship with "a wretch like me".

It is certain that I need Your wisdom and insight into a lot of things. I want my life to reflect Your goodness and Your purpose. I want to be a benefit to the Kingdom of God not a drag on it. That is why I need Your Spirit to fill me and guide me into wise choices and pleasing decisions.

As I travel today I will spend time in study and prayer. Please guide my meditations and may they be acceptable in Your sight. Be first. I am second.

Journal for August 8th…about that gift

9:08 AM EST in CT

Lord, I'm still thinking about that free gift concept. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift…" Romans 3:23-24

The gift is there, bought and paid for. It's only a matter of receiving it. How does one receive the gift of grace/salvation? "…to be received by faith" v25.

There's always a point in time when a gift is received, like Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. God's gift is received at the point of faith. It's an amazing thing, Lord.

Here I am, fitting into the category of "all have sinned", and yet the gift of grace is there at the point of faith. And the thing about a gift is that's it not dependent upon me to keep it.

If a gift is based upon money or other commodity, then it's a payment, not a gift. If it were based upon my merit, good deeds, etc, then it's a reward and not a gift. But it's a gift that is never taken back. Thank You, thank You, thank You for Your inexpressible gift!!

You be first, I am second.

Journal for August 5th…Gifts

8:18 AM EST

Father, most wonderful and good, I give You praise today for my life, my family, my ministry, my health, and for putting me into the ministry -- allowing me, of all people, to serve You. You have given me the gift of salvation; the gift of the Holy Spirit; and gifts from the Holy Spirit so that I can serve and glorify You. All good gifts come from You.

Psalm 5… Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies--make straight Your way before me.

That's all I ask, Lord, that You make straight YOUR way before me. What is Your will and Your way for me and those I love. For my church and others I care for. I know from Your follower, John, that if I pray anything according to Your will that You hear me; and if You hear me, I receive whatever I ask for. But I am mortal, just dust. Each day in big and small ways I need the gift of Your Spirit to guide me and show me Your way…to make straight Your way before me.

Now today, we help make disciples in a small church in Meriden, CT. Fill me with Your Spirit and help the learners to be attentive to spiritual truth.

Again, Lord, thank You for the gifts You have given me. I am second.

Journal for August 3rd…Fitting in

7:11 AM Sunny and HOT…again

Proverbs 3

Lord, Your Creation is awesome. Our sin -- my sin -- has brought the curse on the earth, but You're going to correct that, too! "The Lord founded the earth by wisdom and established the heavens by understanding v19." See! I said You were a genius, but Solomon knew it in his day, too. It all started with You; it will all come back and end with You. My life is just a blip on the screen now, but I will live eternally with You in the New Earth/Heaven.

Lord, I want to think about You in all my ways v6, and have You guide and direct me on the right paths. To think that the same genius and wisdom that created all of this -- the world, my life, my salvation -- is the same One that promises to direct my paths. Hold on. I have to pause and consider that for a moment.

It's like the same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead; the same Spirit that hovered over the deep and created all things; the same Spirit empowered the prophets and the apostles -- is the same Spirit that lives in me; that wants to fill me; that wants to guide my puny little life! Another pause to consider.

This is all too much for me. Oh, I believe it, Lord, I just can't take it all in. Why should You, the Creator and Genius behind all things be so concerned with me? Okay, I hear You -- You created me, too! And as a part of Your creation I fit in somewhere.

Thank You for Your Son, Jesus, who died for all my sins and brought me apart from the fallen world and into Your Kingdom. One day creation will be realigned and put in order -- no longer fallen or cursed. The same goes for me. Because of Jesus I will no longer be fallen or cursed. Thank You, Father, for so very much.

I pray You will have the preeminence today and that I will be second.

Journal for August 2nd…Good People

7:20 AM Sunny again and 100+

Father, again I praise You for being the Creator -- not just of the world and the universe, but the Creator of salvation…the genius behind redemption. It's beyond my understanding. I am a fallen man in a fallen world. But I believe with all my heart that You are making me into a new man; and one day their will be a New Earth. Together will millions of other believers I will give You joyous praise forever! Thank You for saving me; for bringing me into Your Kingdom; for bringing me into Your family.

Proverbs 2

Comparing verse 14 and 20 I see, Lord, a contrast between those who "celebrate perversity" and the way of good people that I should follow. There's a lot of perversity, Lord, in this cursed earth…there's a lot of perversity among believers. We pervert the Word and pervert the meaning of fellowship and church. Forgive our sins and help us to follow the way of Jesus. He died and gave His life to rescue us from the perversity.

Today, help me follow the way of good people. You be first. I am second.

Journal for August 1st…Wisdom

7:20 AM

Proverbs 1

"If you turn to my discipline, then I will pour out my spirit on you and teach you my words." Abiding in Your Word, Lord - that's what You have told me to do. You said, that if I abide in You, and Your words abide in me, then I will bear fruit and my prayers would even be answered.

Of course, You know that this fallen world wants to rob me of Your wisdom and would have me get distracted by the smoke and mirrors of the temporal. At the beginning of this new month, this new day, I want to renew a commitment to Your Word and abiding in You. I want You to be first and me second.

Wisdom. Solomon's proverbs exalt and magnify wisdom that only comes from You. I certainly need wisdom, Lord. There are circumstances, decisions, and choices that require wisdom beyond mine. Fill me with Your Spirit as You forgive my sins. This is a fallen and cursed world, and I certainly look forward to the New Earth, but for now, please increase my wisdom and insight.

Be first. I am second.