Journaling for 11.20.12… Thoughts on Loyalty

7:03 AM

Psalm 119:58…I have seen the disloyal and feel disgust because they do not keep your Word.

Loyalty. That is a character quality I admire and it goes to the top of my list. I have always been a "company man". Like Sackett always said in Lamore's western classics: "I ride for the brand."

I admire those who are loyal to their church, for example, and keep the commitment they made when they first joined it. Through thick and thin they pray for, minister to, and protect the back of every member and pastor.

Disloyals cut and run when things aren't perfect; when they aren't appreciated the way they feel they deserve; when they aren't included in "the loop" for every decision. Disloyals withhold their pledge to support the church with tithes and offerings; with prayers and compassion; with heartfelt support.

Yes, I have seen the disloyal and feel disgust…especially when they greet me in public as if we're old friends and buddies -- as if nothing ever happened; as if the knife is not still in my back. They never gossiped about the church; they never criticized the pastor and called for his dismissal (as if they could dismiss the calling of God); they never bad-mouthed the church or the pastor to others in the community; they never suggested a new church start -- dividing the Bride of Christ -- where they and other disloyals could go do it their way.

Grace, compassion and forgiveness can mend the rift disloyals have created, but it requires confession, sorrow, and repentance. Confession, sorrow and repentance on one side…grace, compassion, and forgiveness on the other. Just like our relationship to God when we violate His trust and are disloyal to Him. Confession, sorrow and repentance on our part. Grace, compassion and forgiveness on His part. Unity is possible -- like anything else -- through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Journaling for 11.13.12 … God’s Word is sweet to my taste

5:40 AM Psalm 119

I love Your teaching, Lord (97), as I meditate on it throughout the day. The Word reveals more and more about You, but produces both joy and sorrow in me. Joy because of Your truth and salvation; sorrow because of my failures and sins. I must depend completely upon Your mercy and grace for salvation…I have nothing of value to bring to the table.

How sweet is Your Word to my taste (103). So many find it bitter, Lord, but I find You and things about You in Your Word. Help me to understand it; help me to obey it.

Father, forgive my sins and cleanse me -- not just because I ask, but because of Your grace and the work of Jesus on the cross. How terrible and glorious the cross is. The terrible part was the darkness of my sin in effect that day. The glorious part is how Your grace and love overcame my darkness. Thank You, Lord, for so great a salvation!

Journal for 11.02.12 My Portion

5:19 AM

Psalm 119:57-64

Lord, You are my portion…You are enough for me. You have blessed me with "things", and friends, and family. But there are times when this is not enough. My soul needs You most of all. Forgive the times, and there have been many, when I have pursued other things more than You.

All around me You keep saying "here I am"…in nature, in the Word, in people, by Your Spirit speaking to my spirit. You are proactive in this relationship. You started it. All I can do is say thank You, Father.

"I don't know why Jesus loved me; I don't know why He cared; I don't know why He sacrificed His life; but I'm glad, so glad He did."

I am a friend (63) to all who fear You…at least I want to be. I know You want us to be one; to love one another. We don't do that very well. Just help me to do my part in the unity of the Body.

Father, in Jesus' Name, I want to thank You for all my blessings…my family, my salvation, my health, my ministry, and so much more. Thank You for Heaven, Lord. Thank You for helping me as a child to understand enough to embrace You as my Savior. Cleanse me and forgive me, Lord. Help me be second.

Journaling for 09.07.12…Delighting in the Lord

8:41 AM EST

Psalm 37

Near Atlanta this morning @ my Hyatt office. Hearing from You this morning, Lord. "Trust in the Lord…Take delight in Lord...Commit your way to the Lord…be silent before the Lord and wait."

Lord, today, help me find delight in You, in big and small things; I commit my way -- my road, my path in life, the direction of my life -- to You today and forever; help me be quiet enough in my spirit and mind to listen to You and wait for the best that comes from You.

Thank You for Your love and presence.

Journaling 09.05.12…Thoughtful of Him

5:45 AM

Psalm 65

Praise, Father, belongs to You and You alone. What have I accomplished that did not begin with You and was not empowered by You? You are the One who hears prayers -- it is not the air that I pray to. You hear me and respond in Your own holiness. You always do what is best. Even though iniquities overwhelm me -- sometimes the iniquities of others, but mostly my own. But You alone atone for the rebellion that is built into the hearts of men and women. Happy is the One that You allow to come close and live near You. (v1-4)

Because of the sacrifice of Jesus, who took my place in dying for sin, You have made it possible for me to be forgiven, cleansed, and looking forward to ultimate deliverance. There is no other one; no other way; no other truth. Forgive my sins and let me walk in Your presence today. You are the holy One, and You answer in Your righteousness (v5).

Thank You, Lord, for my family, each and every one; thank You for my ministry, my health, my church…my life! I have nothing that didn't come from Your gracious love. Be glorified today, somehow, in my life.

You said, "Behold I come quickly." I agree with John: "Even so, Lord Jesus, come." ~

Journaling for 09.04.12…The Lord is near

5:47 AM

Psalm 4, 34

The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit (34:18). Lord God, I have seen this many times -- experienced it myself: Your nearness in times of brokenness and sadness; in times of disappointment and despair. Have I deserved this? Of course not. You and I both know that You could have, and should have, vaporized me long ago. But You made me a living soul -- gave me value and eternal worth. Your love, Lord is beyond my ability to comprehend: unconditional, complete, never-ending, compassionate, and forgiving.

Many adversities come to one made righteous by Your grace. Believers are not immune to difficulties and conflicts. Yet, You deliver us…in Your time, in Your way. Lord, be merciful today. Forgive my bent to worldliness and selfishness.

I bring to Your throne, with Your permission, my family (for which I am so grateful); my health; my church; my ministry; and my life. I bring them all before You as a thanksgiving, but also a commitment. Continue to show grace on each of these. May You be glorified today. I expect You will be glorified as You so wonderfully deserve.

Whether the world ends, Jesus comes, or I die today You should be glorified. Deep inside, Lord, I believe Your Word, trust Your grace, and depend on the power of Your sacrifice to save me. ~

Journaling for 08.28.12 … God’s faithfulness

5:46 AM

Psalm 118

It is risky to put your trust in people. "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man -- than to trust in nobles." (v8,9) You, Lord Jesus, are my God and I will give You thanks (v26). No one else died for me. No one else offered me life and eternity. I will give You thanks for You are good (v27). Your faithful love has followed me and kept me…not because of who or what I am, but in spite of it.

I thank You for life's particulars…my family, my salvation, my health, my ministry. Fill my family, my children, with Your love and power today and give them a renewed sense of vision and calling. I need that, too, Lord. Be first. I'm trying to be second. ~

Journaling for 08.27.12…He is faithful

5:40 AM

Psalm 117

Lord, You are the faithful one…consistent, dependable, never any other way. Your love and compassion are everlasting. I, on the other hand, am not consistent and often change my mind or feelings. My love and compassion for the very same people You love and died for often wanes. Let me give You thanks this morning, Lord, for Your love and goodness. You should be glorified for ever. Thank You for my salvation, for one day I will be in Your magnificent presence and glorify You the way You deserve to be.

Today, like every day, please forgive my sins and sinfulness. Fill and bless my life, my family and my church. I thank You for each of these as well as my calling and my health and my life. Be first today. I am struggling to be second. ~

Journaling for 08.24.12 …Deep thoughts

5:40 AM

Psalm 114, 144

Lord, who am I that You care for me? That You even think of me? (v3) In the big scheme of things my life is like a passing shadow. Thousands of years ago people who thought they were rich, powerful, and significant -- served by others and making demands -- looked up at the same stars I look up to; lived under the same sun that rises for me day after day; and either praised You or didn't…just like me.

And yet, here I am talking to You; hearing from You; reading Your Word and conversing as if You really interact with me, a mere passing shadow.

Your greatness and power can never be understood by people like me, a mere mortal. It would flat out kill me to see You now and get a real glimpse of Your glory and wonder. The sounds and sights of heaven would crush my physical senses without a supernatural assist from You -- like You must have done for John and Paul and others when they were given glimpses. My mind would experience immediate overload and shut down from the overwhelming information and trillions of bytes of data it would try to process per second.

All of this, and yet, I am invited to make eternity my home some day… And all because You love me. You love me! Selah. I don't get it…but then I'm not God. I don't think like You, or reason like You, or love like You.

The only thing that can keep us at odds and apart is my sin. By nature I am the opposite of You. But You have that covered, too. So, I thank You for Jesus, Your Son, that paid a price You are willing to accept as payment for my sins. I believe the whole story -- hook, line, and sinker.

Now, awesome God, walk and talk with me today in my inferior, cursed surroundings. Continue to be who and what You are -- I will try to be more like You if You'll help.

Journaling for 08.23.12…Remembering

5:44 AM

Psalm 113, 143

143:5…I remember the days of old; I meditate on all you have done; I reflect on the work of your hands.

Sweet memories of tough times. It's amazing, Lord, how we look back on difficult times and remember things with fondness and a sense of nostalgia. I guess it's because there are good things to recall, but also, in looking back, it's possible to see Your hand in it all.

Forgive my unfaithfulness and answer my prayers in Your faithfulness v1. Protect me, like You always have, because I am Your servant v12, and masters protect their servants…even the imperfect ones.

Be glorified today somehow in my life, in my family, or in Your church. ~

Personal Journal for 08.21.12…Amazing Grace

5:31 AM

Psalm 111

The Lord is gracious and compassionate (v4). Of course, I don't understand the depth and width of Your grace and compassion -- because I have so little of it. Even though I'm a believer, my patience wears thin; my compassion runs out; and my love for others will never match Your love.

You are holy…in stark contrast to my desperate need for a Savior; my need for a Redeemer. Forgiveness is my greatest need, and that's where Your compassion and grace come in. Redemption comes from You (v9). Thank You for all You have done for me. I am grateful, Lord Jesus, for Your grace; amazed at Your compassion. Never mind yesterday…today, Lord, fill me with Your Spirit and help me live for You.

Lord Jesus, I am sorry that I am not awe-inspired by Your Name as I should be, could be, and will be (v9). I want to be more "other-worldly", and less fixed on this rotting environment. Cleanse me, Lord…not because I deserve it (because I do not)…but because of Your amazing grace and deep compassion that "saved a wretch like me."

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like; I once was lost, but now I'm found; I was blind but now I see. Lord, today, help my life reflect Your amazing grace somehow. ~

Journaling for July 03, 2012… God’s Word is Right

 

Psalm 33

One thing I know, Father, is that Your Word is right (4). Period. Just because our culture loosens its moral standards and makes homosexuality, abortion, adultery, fornication, lying and deceit an acceptable, even preferred mode of operation, Your Word is right!

The earth, Lord, is full of Your unfailing love (5), too. We see so much violence, anger, rebellion, heartache, injustice, and suffering in the world, but if we, Your people, would only look and see. Everywhere sin abounds, at that point, grace abounds even more! Help us, Your people, not to get too cynical; or get a sense of failure and defeat. Even if You let the world reap the results of its own ways, help us who believe to look forward to "that day" when You make all things new.

I'm just sorry that I am often part of the problem in the world. Even though I am not of the world, I am still in the world, and I have the same worldly impulses as anyone else. It's that unfailing love that I need; the constant mercy and forgiveness. Keep Your eye on me, Lord, and my family, and my church. We depend on Your faithful love (18). Help us to wait for You and what You plan to do (20). May Your faithful love rest on us, Lord, for we put our hope in You. (22)

Yes, Father, Your Word is right…every time.~

Journaling for June 28th…On Two-faced “Christians” from Psalm 28

8:46 AM

Psalm 28

Lord, there are people that "speak in friendly ways with their neighbors, while malice is in their hearts."(3)

This not right…especially for Christians. When so-called Christians do this they inflict irreparable harm on other people, churches, church leaders, and pastors. They talk one way, because it's the church way, but their heart isn't with You.

For example, Father, there are people that leave a church saying cruel, mean, and false things about the pastor or others. But when one sees them at a community gathering, a restaurant, funeral or other event they shake your hand, smile, and act like you're old buddies. There's no remorse, no apology, not even avoidance. They caused lambs to stray and hurt many others, yet they go on as if all is well. With all this stuff left in their wake, they sail on.

Lord Jesus, forgive my sins and help me to have a forgiving heart; a sensitive spirit to others; and an honest relationship to all people. I don't want to ever treat Your Bride with such disrespect or cause "one of these little ones to stray."

May the Lord be praised…the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him.(6,7) My heart rejoices, and I praise him with my song.

"In my heart there rings a melody… there rings a melody of love."~

Journaling for June 20, 2012…about the battle

7:21 AM

Psalm 20

I am grateful, Lord, that your followers may come to You -- to Your dwelling place -- and seek Your answers; Your help; and Your presence. Father, my prayer is not that You fulfill my heart's desires (4) but that my heart's desires be pleasing to You…that my whole purpose would be Your whole purpose for me.

Victory? (6) Lord, I don't need victory in open battle. It's the inner battle where the victory is needed. Like Your servant, Paul, I am engaged in warfare inside me. I live in a culture where believers mask the battle and don't admit to it…but we all fight it.

I try to imagine heaven's atmosphere -- the environment. The pressure is off -- no battle for my mind and heart. No temptations that lead to sin, anger, selfishness, and gossip. Yes, it's beauties and wonders I am longing to see, but Jesus will be what makes it heaven for me.

So, Lord, never mind the king (9), give victory to me! Help me fulfill Your purposes.~

Journaling for June 18, 2012…Thanks for technology

Lord, You have been so good to me. Everything I have is from You and it is so undeserved. Thank You, Lord for my salvation, family, ministry, health, and future with You.

Thank You for the technology that allows me to share some of my thoughts with friends and others. Today I am testing my new laptop to make sure it's all set up. What a chore!  This journal post is a trial run, Lord.

I got a little sentimental this past week as Father's Day approached. Just remembering my dad and his "barbaric" ways. Help me be a little more barbaric, Lord, if it would please You.

Outsider.~

Journaling for June 14, 2012…Musings on hate and love

John 15

Lord, You say an awful lot about hate in this chapter on discipleship…mostly verses 18-27. If love is an action, not just an emotion, then hate is also an action. I've heard people say "why do you hate me" when they have been wronged. The offender often says "I don't hate you." One is the recipient of an action; the other is talking about an emotion.

So how do I define love? Well, Lord, if I listed all the things hate would do then love would be the opposite. Hate (temper tantrums, lashing out, criticizing, judging, gossiping, undermining, etc) is all about "me".

Self-centered, self-righteous hatred can come in all forms and carry all kinds of labels. It can fly planes into buildings or split a church and run off the pastor.

Lord, help me to understand the nature of hate…and love. Help me to come down on the side of love -- because You did when You loved the world so much to give Your only Son to pay the price for man's hatred. Thank You for Your love…an action called the cross.

Journal for June 12, 2012…Words, words, words

7:06 AM

Psalm 12

My words are my words, Lord. I am responsible for what I say; I am in charge of my own speech (4). And speech has power. Words mean something. Lord, I pray my words today will not discourage, hurt, or embarrass anyone else.

Your words are always pure, without pollution of any kind (6). You are in heaven; You are holy; You are the source of everything good and right. I am on earth; I am not holy; I live on a cursed planet where what is worthless is exalted (v8) -- and I would be cursed, too, if it were not for the blood of Jesus Christ. Thank You, Father for the true vine!

I believe Your words will prevail today in the lives of many who trust You. They will prevail in judgment, too, for many who do not honor You.~

Journaling for June 7, 2012…Deserved Praise

6:56 AM

Lord, I thank You for another day -- another chance to serve You. My mind will be at war with my spirit, but this whole world is a cursed battleground and right in the middle of it!

There is much to be thankful for and You have always been, and will always be, worthy of all praise and honor. You are the Creator, yes, but You are also the personal Savior and Redeemer. You have even called me Your friend. All of that is possible through the excruciating death of Your Son, Yeshua, on the cross.

Psalm 67

May God be gracious to us and bless us; look on us with favor. Selah…just think about that: an almighty God that looks on us with favor -- after all we've done. Your way, Lord, yes, let Your way be known in the earth, in this nation, in my church, in my family, and in my heart.

You have blessed us; You will continue to bless us. All the earth reaps the benefits of Your creation and Your generosity.

Experiencing your disappointment and judgment is better than not experiencing You at all.

One day the whole earth with honor, respect, and worship You. It's inevitable. In the meantime, help us -- those who confess Your Name -- to give You appropriate praise. ~

Journaling for June 2, 2012…Restore us once again

7:16 AM

Psalm 136

Father, You are so merciful and gracious -- You have good reason to just wipe me off the face of the earth; to vaporize me; then forget about me. But, to my amazement I know that You love me and already paid the supreme price of love by giving Your life for me. "Thank You" is a shallow response and there is no way that I can ever repay what You have done. There is no doubt that I You, and You alone, are the Master of the universe, the Creator of all things, and the Redeemer of me.

I think of how You restored Zion and caused the people to rejoice. You gave refreshment to a people that were parched by sin and rebellion. Like streams flowing in the stark wilderness You renewed, revived, and restored the life of Your people. I believe that is Your nature…it is Your way.

So today, as one needing forgiveness and redemption myself, I pray for this nation, the United States. Never in our history has everyone been a follower of Your ways, but the Word and the principles of the Bible were the underpinning and agreed upon basis for laws, citizenship, and progress. It is these principles that led to the abolition of slavery, overturning the practice of child labor, the establishment of most hospitals and mental care facilities, the advocacy of freedom around the world against Nazism, Totalitarianism, and the inhumanity of man.

Today, Lord, as a nation, we have lost our bearing. Forgive us for abortion, homosexuality, adultery, pornography, and other moral transgressions. Forgive us for turning from the foundations on which our nation was built and blest.

Like Zion of old, restore us again. Help true believers to remain faithful and strong in the face of hostility and opposition. Be the Lord today in the lives of those who claim Your Name.

Journaling for June 5, 2012…Not destruction but restoration

7:39 AM

Psalm 5, 35

Sometimes the people we minister to and pray for are the very ones that turn on us, accuse us and join the lynch mob to hang us out to dry (Ps 35:11-16). It's mystifying to me, Lord. Why don't people that claim the Name seek reconciliation, forgiveness, and healing? What benefit is there to the Kingdom for people to enlist others in their campaign of hurtfulness, involving the innocent, and harming a wider circle of believers?

You know, Lord, I find that in the journals of David he asks that his enemies and detractors be destroyed, taught a lesson, humiliated and driven away (ie. Psalm 35). But I find it hard to pray for that. I want my enemy's heart to be changed and his behavior toward me to cease. If we were friends, I want to be friends again. If we were co-laborers, I want to serve together again!

I always allow that there may be something to the accusations -- that some sin, error in judgment, mistake or weakness on my part -- may contribute to the division. That's why I don't seek their utter destruction, but would rather enjoy the peace of forgiveness, reconciliation, and the Lordship of Christ…for all of us.
I remember the statement from Mac Brunson: "Believers on the battlefield will fight the true enemy. Believers in the barracks will fight their brothers."

My experience through the years is that there is far too much fighting among the brothers. We are often so inward looking and selfish that we find reason to complain about the music, the lighting, the sermon, the organization, other people, etc, etc. It's all about us and what we like or don't like about the church and its members. And God help the member that fails, or sins, or errs in some way! In the meantime, while we fight against each other in the barracks, the world goes to hell in a hand basket!

Lord, help me to be a conveyor of peace, forgiveness, mercy, grace, reconciliation, and fellowship. Help me be a Kingdom builder, not a people destroyer.~