Journaling for 08.28.12 … God’s faithfulness

5:46 AM

Psalm 118

It is risky to put your trust in people. "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man -- than to trust in nobles." (v8,9) You, Lord Jesus, are my God and I will give You thanks (v26). No one else died for me. No one else offered me life and eternity. I will give You thanks for You are good (v27). Your faithful love has followed me and kept me…not because of who or what I am, but in spite of it.

I thank You for life's particulars…my family, my salvation, my health, my ministry. Fill my family, my children, with Your love and power today and give them a renewed sense of vision and calling. I need that, too, Lord. Be first. I'm trying to be second. ~

Journaling for 08.27.12…He is faithful

5:40 AM

Psalm 117

Lord, You are the faithful one…consistent, dependable, never any other way. Your love and compassion are everlasting. I, on the other hand, am not consistent and often change my mind or feelings. My love and compassion for the very same people You love and died for often wanes. Let me give You thanks this morning, Lord, for Your love and goodness. You should be glorified for ever. Thank You for my salvation, for one day I will be in Your magnificent presence and glorify You the way You deserve to be.

Today, like every day, please forgive my sins and sinfulness. Fill and bless my life, my family and my church. I thank You for each of these as well as my calling and my health and my life. Be first today. I am struggling to be second. ~

Journaling for 08.24.12 …Deep thoughts

5:40 AM

Psalm 114, 144

Lord, who am I that You care for me? That You even think of me? (v3) In the big scheme of things my life is like a passing shadow. Thousands of years ago people who thought they were rich, powerful, and significant -- served by others and making demands -- looked up at the same stars I look up to; lived under the same sun that rises for me day after day; and either praised You or didn't…just like me.

And yet, here I am talking to You; hearing from You; reading Your Word and conversing as if You really interact with me, a mere passing shadow.

Your greatness and power can never be understood by people like me, a mere mortal. It would flat out kill me to see You now and get a real glimpse of Your glory and wonder. The sounds and sights of heaven would crush my physical senses without a supernatural assist from You -- like You must have done for John and Paul and others when they were given glimpses. My mind would experience immediate overload and shut down from the overwhelming information and trillions of bytes of data it would try to process per second.

All of this, and yet, I am invited to make eternity my home some day… And all because You love me. You love me! Selah. I don't get it…but then I'm not God. I don't think like You, or reason like You, or love like You.

The only thing that can keep us at odds and apart is my sin. By nature I am the opposite of You. But You have that covered, too. So, I thank You for Jesus, Your Son, that paid a price You are willing to accept as payment for my sins. I believe the whole story -- hook, line, and sinker.

Now, awesome God, walk and talk with me today in my inferior, cursed surroundings. Continue to be who and what You are -- I will try to be more like You if You'll help.

Journaling for 08.23.12…Remembering

5:44 AM

Psalm 113, 143

143:5…I remember the days of old; I meditate on all you have done; I reflect on the work of your hands.

Sweet memories of tough times. It's amazing, Lord, how we look back on difficult times and remember things with fondness and a sense of nostalgia. I guess it's because there are good things to recall, but also, in looking back, it's possible to see Your hand in it all.

Forgive my unfaithfulness and answer my prayers in Your faithfulness v1. Protect me, like You always have, because I am Your servant v12, and masters protect their servants…even the imperfect ones.

Be glorified today somehow in my life, in my family, or in Your church. ~

Personal Journal for 08.21.12…Amazing Grace

5:31 AM

Psalm 111

The Lord is gracious and compassionate (v4). Of course, I don't understand the depth and width of Your grace and compassion -- because I have so little of it. Even though I'm a believer, my patience wears thin; my compassion runs out; and my love for others will never match Your love.

You are holy…in stark contrast to my desperate need for a Savior; my need for a Redeemer. Forgiveness is my greatest need, and that's where Your compassion and grace come in. Redemption comes from You (v9). Thank You for all You have done for me. I am grateful, Lord Jesus, for Your grace; amazed at Your compassion. Never mind yesterday…today, Lord, fill me with Your Spirit and help me live for You.

Lord Jesus, I am sorry that I am not awe-inspired by Your Name as I should be, could be, and will be (v9). I want to be more "other-worldly", and less fixed on this rotting environment. Cleanse me, Lord…not because I deserve it (because I do not)…but because of Your amazing grace and deep compassion that "saved a wretch like me."

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like; I once was lost, but now I'm found; I was blind but now I see. Lord, today, help my life reflect Your amazing grace somehow. ~

Journaling for July 03, 2012… God’s Word is Right

 

Psalm 33

One thing I know, Father, is that Your Word is right (4). Period. Just because our culture loosens its moral standards and makes homosexuality, abortion, adultery, fornication, lying and deceit an acceptable, even preferred mode of operation, Your Word is right!

The earth, Lord, is full of Your unfailing love (5), too. We see so much violence, anger, rebellion, heartache, injustice, and suffering in the world, but if we, Your people, would only look and see. Everywhere sin abounds, at that point, grace abounds even more! Help us, Your people, not to get too cynical; or get a sense of failure and defeat. Even if You let the world reap the results of its own ways, help us who believe to look forward to "that day" when You make all things new.

I'm just sorry that I am often part of the problem in the world. Even though I am not of the world, I am still in the world, and I have the same worldly impulses as anyone else. It's that unfailing love that I need; the constant mercy and forgiveness. Keep Your eye on me, Lord, and my family, and my church. We depend on Your faithful love (18). Help us to wait for You and what You plan to do (20). May Your faithful love rest on us, Lord, for we put our hope in You. (22)

Yes, Father, Your Word is right…every time.~

Journaling for June 28th…On Two-faced “Christians” from Psalm 28

8:46 AM

Psalm 28

Lord, there are people that "speak in friendly ways with their neighbors, while malice is in their hearts."(3)

This not right…especially for Christians. When so-called Christians do this they inflict irreparable harm on other people, churches, church leaders, and pastors. They talk one way, because it's the church way, but their heart isn't with You.

For example, Father, there are people that leave a church saying cruel, mean, and false things about the pastor or others. But when one sees them at a community gathering, a restaurant, funeral or other event they shake your hand, smile, and act like you're old buddies. There's no remorse, no apology, not even avoidance. They caused lambs to stray and hurt many others, yet they go on as if all is well. With all this stuff left in their wake, they sail on.

Lord Jesus, forgive my sins and help me to have a forgiving heart; a sensitive spirit to others; and an honest relationship to all people. I don't want to ever treat Your Bride with such disrespect or cause "one of these little ones to stray."

May the Lord be praised…the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him.(6,7) My heart rejoices, and I praise him with my song.

"In my heart there rings a melody… there rings a melody of love."~

Journaling for June 20, 2012…about the battle

7:21 AM

Psalm 20

I am grateful, Lord, that your followers may come to You -- to Your dwelling place -- and seek Your answers; Your help; and Your presence. Father, my prayer is not that You fulfill my heart's desires (4) but that my heart's desires be pleasing to You…that my whole purpose would be Your whole purpose for me.

Victory? (6) Lord, I don't need victory in open battle. It's the inner battle where the victory is needed. Like Your servant, Paul, I am engaged in warfare inside me. I live in a culture where believers mask the battle and don't admit to it…but we all fight it.

I try to imagine heaven's atmosphere -- the environment. The pressure is off -- no battle for my mind and heart. No temptations that lead to sin, anger, selfishness, and gossip. Yes, it's beauties and wonders I am longing to see, but Jesus will be what makes it heaven for me.

So, Lord, never mind the king (9), give victory to me! Help me fulfill Your purposes.~

Journaling for June 18, 2012…Thanks for technology

Lord, You have been so good to me. Everything I have is from You and it is so undeserved. Thank You, Lord for my salvation, family, ministry, health, and future with You.

Thank You for the technology that allows me to share some of my thoughts with friends and others. Today I am testing my new laptop to make sure it's all set up. What a chore!  This journal post is a trial run, Lord.

I got a little sentimental this past week as Father's Day approached. Just remembering my dad and his "barbaric" ways. Help me be a little more barbaric, Lord, if it would please You.

Outsider.~

Journaling for June 14, 2012…Musings on hate and love

John 15

Lord, You say an awful lot about hate in this chapter on discipleship…mostly verses 18-27. If love is an action, not just an emotion, then hate is also an action. I've heard people say "why do you hate me" when they have been wronged. The offender often says "I don't hate you." One is the recipient of an action; the other is talking about an emotion.

So how do I define love? Well, Lord, if I listed all the things hate would do then love would be the opposite. Hate (temper tantrums, lashing out, criticizing, judging, gossiping, undermining, etc) is all about "me".

Self-centered, self-righteous hatred can come in all forms and carry all kinds of labels. It can fly planes into buildings or split a church and run off the pastor.

Lord, help me to understand the nature of hate…and love. Help me to come down on the side of love -- because You did when You loved the world so much to give Your only Son to pay the price for man's hatred. Thank You for Your love…an action called the cross.

Journal for June 12, 2012…Words, words, words

7:06 AM

Psalm 12

My words are my words, Lord. I am responsible for what I say; I am in charge of my own speech (4). And speech has power. Words mean something. Lord, I pray my words today will not discourage, hurt, or embarrass anyone else.

Your words are always pure, without pollution of any kind (6). You are in heaven; You are holy; You are the source of everything good and right. I am on earth; I am not holy; I live on a cursed planet where what is worthless is exalted (v8) -- and I would be cursed, too, if it were not for the blood of Jesus Christ. Thank You, Father for the true vine!

I believe Your words will prevail today in the lives of many who trust You. They will prevail in judgment, too, for many who do not honor You.~

Journaling for June 7, 2012…Deserved Praise

6:56 AM

Lord, I thank You for another day -- another chance to serve You. My mind will be at war with my spirit, but this whole world is a cursed battleground and right in the middle of it!

There is much to be thankful for and You have always been, and will always be, worthy of all praise and honor. You are the Creator, yes, but You are also the personal Savior and Redeemer. You have even called me Your friend. All of that is possible through the excruciating death of Your Son, Yeshua, on the cross.

Psalm 67

May God be gracious to us and bless us; look on us with favor. Selah…just think about that: an almighty God that looks on us with favor -- after all we've done. Your way, Lord, yes, let Your way be known in the earth, in this nation, in my church, in my family, and in my heart.

You have blessed us; You will continue to bless us. All the earth reaps the benefits of Your creation and Your generosity.

Experiencing your disappointment and judgment is better than not experiencing You at all.

One day the whole earth with honor, respect, and worship You. It's inevitable. In the meantime, help us -- those who confess Your Name -- to give You appropriate praise. ~

Journaling for June 2, 2012…Restore us once again

7:16 AM

Psalm 136

Father, You are so merciful and gracious -- You have good reason to just wipe me off the face of the earth; to vaporize me; then forget about me. But, to my amazement I know that You love me and already paid the supreme price of love by giving Your life for me. "Thank You" is a shallow response and there is no way that I can ever repay what You have done. There is no doubt that I You, and You alone, are the Master of the universe, the Creator of all things, and the Redeemer of me.

I think of how You restored Zion and caused the people to rejoice. You gave refreshment to a people that were parched by sin and rebellion. Like streams flowing in the stark wilderness You renewed, revived, and restored the life of Your people. I believe that is Your nature…it is Your way.

So today, as one needing forgiveness and redemption myself, I pray for this nation, the United States. Never in our history has everyone been a follower of Your ways, but the Word and the principles of the Bible were the underpinning and agreed upon basis for laws, citizenship, and progress. It is these principles that led to the abolition of slavery, overturning the practice of child labor, the establishment of most hospitals and mental care facilities, the advocacy of freedom around the world against Nazism, Totalitarianism, and the inhumanity of man.

Today, Lord, as a nation, we have lost our bearing. Forgive us for abortion, homosexuality, adultery, pornography, and other moral transgressions. Forgive us for turning from the foundations on which our nation was built and blest.

Like Zion of old, restore us again. Help true believers to remain faithful and strong in the face of hostility and opposition. Be the Lord today in the lives of those who claim Your Name.

Journaling for June 5, 2012…Not destruction but restoration

7:39 AM

Psalm 5, 35

Sometimes the people we minister to and pray for are the very ones that turn on us, accuse us and join the lynch mob to hang us out to dry (Ps 35:11-16). It's mystifying to me, Lord. Why don't people that claim the Name seek reconciliation, forgiveness, and healing? What benefit is there to the Kingdom for people to enlist others in their campaign of hurtfulness, involving the innocent, and harming a wider circle of believers?

You know, Lord, I find that in the journals of David he asks that his enemies and detractors be destroyed, taught a lesson, humiliated and driven away (ie. Psalm 35). But I find it hard to pray for that. I want my enemy's heart to be changed and his behavior toward me to cease. If we were friends, I want to be friends again. If we were co-laborers, I want to serve together again!

I always allow that there may be something to the accusations -- that some sin, error in judgment, mistake or weakness on my part -- may contribute to the division. That's why I don't seek their utter destruction, but would rather enjoy the peace of forgiveness, reconciliation, and the Lordship of Christ…for all of us.
I remember the statement from Mac Brunson: "Believers on the battlefield will fight the true enemy. Believers in the barracks will fight their brothers."

My experience through the years is that there is far too much fighting among the brothers. We are often so inward looking and selfish that we find reason to complain about the music, the lighting, the sermon, the organization, other people, etc, etc. It's all about us and what we like or don't like about the church and its members. And God help the member that fails, or sins, or errs in some way! In the meantime, while we fight against each other in the barracks, the world goes to hell in a hand basket!

Lord, help me to be a conveyor of peace, forgiveness, mercy, grace, reconciliation, and fellowship. Help me be a Kingdom builder, not a people destroyer.~

Journaling for April 30…Peace among believers

My first journal post in a while. Accepted the responsibility to teach at a school the last 6 weeks of the year..and that’s while I continue to drive a school bus. I still have my devotions and journal but time has limited posting.

Psalm 120

I certainly identify, Lord, with the psalmist…deliver me from lying lips and a deceitful tongue (2). This is just plain gossip. Lord, forgive me for ever gossiping about others in the name of openness and sharing information. I have been the recipient of hostile, damaging gossip so I know what it feels like. You have walked with me through the valley of that shadow…and I thank You for it. I called to the Lord and He answered me (1).

I am for peace; but, Lord they are often for war (7). When I speak it makes no difference at all. Wanting peace, unity and fellowship, I have received war disunity and division. That is not the way You intend for Your people to behave. Are they really Your people? Certainly not led by the Holy Spirit.

May my family and my church seek, protect, and maintain the unity and love that is found in Jesus Christ. We are His people by the grace of God. Help us not be haughty, selfish, or worldly toward each other.

Jesus be the Lord of this last day of April. It promises to be a busy day in many ways; please walk with me and let me sense Your presence all the way. Be first. I am second.~

Journaling for 4-19-12…There is a plan

42 years plus a day.

Psalm 139

You are in all places, Lord. You are everywhere I go; You see everything I do; You know every thing I think of, dream of, wish for. You know my good thoughts and You know the despicable, disgusting thoughts, too. The darkness cannot hide me from You…nor would I want it to. The best part of this, however, is that there is a plan.

Now, I don't understand about my days being written in Your book and planned before a single day began (16). How that lines up with my autonomy is a mystery. But that's not the point. The point is, there is a plan! No life -- my life -- is not pointless without the Creator's plan. There is a direction for my life…a purpose. For that I am grateful, Lord. Just like there was a plan for Your presence in the world. You came with a specific plan to give Your life as a ransom for me. Every life, like Yours, has a purpose. A high and lofty purpose. It must be a holy purpose, too, when one considers the source of it.

When You find an offensive way in me (and I can assure You, Lord, that You will) please remember that I am dust; just flesh and bones in a fallen world. Forgive the offenses because of, and in the Name of, Jesus Christ and His blood.

You know so much about me, and yet, You love me; died for me; and will bring me to Yourself one wonderful day. May You forever receive praise and thanks from the heart and lips of this redeemed servant.

A hedge, Lord… that's what I ask for around my family and my fellowship of believers. A hedge of protection -- a bulwark that never ceases! You are my mighty fortress, Lord Jesus. And I thank You so very much. Help me be second today.~

Journaling for 4-17-12…When songs of praise are out of place

Psalm 137

The Jewish people were being led away captive to a godless land; their city and nation was destroyed. Yet, their captors asked them, out of curiosity I suppose, to sing some of their worship and praise songs. They wanted to hear what they sounded like. They weren't interested in worshiping the true God (otherwise, they would not have destroyed the temple.)

Sometimes, Lord, singing songs of praise and joy are not fitting -- like when a Christian is in an unholy place. An unholy place in their heart; an unholy place where God is not honored by the activities occurring there; or when a believer is engaged in sin of some sort. There are entertainers that will throw a gospel song or other spiritual type song into the middle of songs about lust, romance, and worldliness. It doesn't fit. It's out of place. Just to sing a song or make an album of Christian songs doesn't purify the life.

Song of praise and adoration belong anywhere a life is surrendered to Jesus…in conflict and pain or joy and victory. Songs of praise are always fitting in the life of a true disciple.

May my life be worthy today, Lord Jesus, of songs of praise to You.

More Journaling for 4-11-12… Some thoughts on seeing God in Person

9:10 PM

I was thinking today about me, God, holiness, and how far away I am from where God is.

The gap between where/what I am, and where/what God is staggering…I have no idea!

And then I was thinking what I would feel and what it would be like to be in God's presence… would it be boring after a while? Would I ever lose the wonder of seeing Him for the first time?

Then I thought of the Grand Canyon. I've been to a lot of places and seen a lot of sights but I remember the GC. It was amazing. Now I know that some people raft down the Colorado River, or ride mules to the bottom; but mostly people just go to a place made to view the scenic splendor of the Canyon. It's marvelous. You can stand there for hours and never get tired of looking at it's beauty. And, as the sun moves across the sky the colors and tints and hues constantly change into all new dioramas of glory.

That must be the way it will be, Heavenly Father, Lord of glory, God of all Creation, when I see You face to face. If I survive the initial blast of glorious splendor, and after I regather my new supernatural senses, the glory of God must be constantly changing from glory to glory; from one majestic impression to another… the colors, the rolling billows of mist, rainbows, and glaring light…light in which the sun and stars pale.

How can anyone stop watching, adoring, and loving the God of Creation…the God of my salvation.

I can't imagine how wonderful the New Earth and New Heaven will be -- and who can tell the glories of the New Jerusalem?! Yet, the source of their glory is the Father. I wonder if I'll even look away from Him to see the rest of my eternal home. The Lord God, and the Lord God alone, will be enough to keep me transfixed for millenia after millenia. Praise be to the Lord of glory, righteousness, and splendor!

Journaling for 04-11-12…God’s comfort and ways

Psalm 131

Father… I want to begin by giving You praise for Your consistent character, Your faithful love, and dependable holiness. You are high above the sin and convulsions of this world. Yet, You sent Your Son here to die for sins; resolve the convulsions; and save those who would believe.

I will not get involved with things too great or too difficult for me (1). Help me to calm myself and quiet myself like a baby in its mother's arms…except it would be Your comfort that I need. The truth is, I am a little child. I am Your child. Help me to live up to the "family" reputation today. (2).

Psalm 101

Help me, Lord, to pay better attention to Your ways (2)…the ways of integrity. Today, as best as I can help it, I will not set anything godless before my eyes. In this day and age I see godless things all the time -- it's impossible to avoid it -- but as far as I am concerned, it will not be an intentional thing. Fill me with Your Spirit and give me Your wisdom and strength to live out this day for You. Help me to truly be second.

Journaling for 04-05-12…He is God

Psalm 95

Father…You are to be worshiped as the King above all gods. You made everything and have all creation under Your control. And You are the Rock of my salvation. These are just a few of the reasons I should shout joyfully and enter the place of worship and sing to You in song. Lord, today I worship You…if I dare. After all, I am far from holy and Your holiness is not even understood by me. Except for the Name and blood of Jesus Christ, Your Son, I would not be able to come into Your presence or even have a chance at salvation and eternal life. Thank You, Father, for the gift of life; the gift of salvation; but mostly the gift of Your Son.

There are two kinds of people that claim Your Name…those who worship You as if they are Your sheep; who place themselves under Your care and trust You. Then there are those that harden their hearts; whose hearts go astray; and do not know Your ways. I want to be counted in the first group -- a worshiper that entrusts his life to You.

Prepare our hearts as a congregation -- prepare me as an individual -- to worship You on the anniversary of Your resurrection. Be glorified in our worship; I pray You will be honored by our worship.

This day is Yours…not because I just gave it to You, but because You made it and are sovereign over it. Jesus is Lord. I am second.~